I have a problem, an addiction, an addiction so detrimental to quality of life, it should be described as a disease. This disease is not being present. There are many symptoms of the disease, but today I’m going to talk about my most frequent symptoms, my body being at home, but my mind still being at work
Imagine if you had to work 80 hours a week, every week, but you wasted 40 of those hours being stuck and making no progress. That’s what happens when my body is at home, but my mind is at work. It’s rather non-obvious but this symptom can flare up both when things are going poorly at work, and when things are going well. Having my mind at work is incredibly wasteful because my life outside of work suffers and no work is getting done. Ironically, your work suffers because you never clear your head.
Even though I have the my mind not being present disease, there are times when I’m symptom free. I’m usually symptom free after a few weeks of vacation, or when something so amazing happens outside of work that I’m knocked into the present moment, even if for a few minutes. This will for example happen when my daughter Amelia gives me one of her incredible hugs.
I’ve known medicines that help reduce flare ups of the disease, and that if taken consistently can keep the disease at bay. The medicine tastes terrible though, and because I’m so used to the disease, I don’t even realize the impact it’s having on my quality of life.
Knowing and committing is the half the battle, and of late the reduction in quality of life from the disease has been apparent. If you’re worried about me, don’t be – I don’t think the disease has been worse of late. This clarity has come from this year’s focus on emotional health. My increased self-awareness helps bring clarity to emotional constructs that are holding me back.
Thus, I’m working hard to reduce symptoms of the disease – in fact, I’m incredibly happy to say that since I’ve been on vacation, I haven’t thought about work since day one. This may sound like a low bar, but almost all of my life, for the first few weeks of vacation I haven’t been able to forget about work.
Future posts will document my journey, and the activities that support this.